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Own Your Own Power ó Donít Give it Away

June 2017

“Giving your power away happens in an instant or through an
Insidious process that happens one drip at a time. Stop the drip.

The greatest power a person can have is a strong sense of personal agency.  There are few things more powerful than believing you have the ability to change, influence, and affect, not only your personal life, but the world around you as well. Unfortunately, though, many people that power away on a daily basis.

Giving your power away can happen in an instant by giving up or declaring that you “can’t” do something. When you think you can’t leave this job because you need the money or can’t divorce because of the kids or you can’t (fill in the blank), you effectively cut yourself off at the knees and put yourself at the mercy of others. By doing so, you put your life in the hands of others. You hand then your power.

You can also give your power away bit by bit by waiting for others to change, turning to others for answers you have within yourself or doing the same thing that hold you back daily. Getting captured by social media for hours, sleeping your day away in your room, staying in a dead-end job for safe3ty, staying depressed or anxious without seeking treatment are all examples of the slow drip of your power seeping out of you.

Stop the drip.

Challenge: Own your own power. Make new moves every day—grand moves, small moves, minute moves. It doesn’t matter, just make them. Own your own truth—first to yourself and then to the world. Stand behind your truth, first with your words and then with your actions. Refuse to allow life and your choices to slowly suck the power from your soul. Stop the excuses and take the reigns of your power.

c:Lisa Merlo Booth, June 2017


Wendy Allen, Ph.D, MFT is an expert in couples and marriage therapy. She has been practicing in Santa Barbara for almost 30 years. She is the only Marriage therapist in the tri-counties using the Real Relational Living model, from which all of these ideas are based upon.