THE TIP OF THE MONTH
“WHEN ALL WE SEE ARE THE IMPERFECTIONS, WE LOSE SIGHT OF THE GREATEST GIFT—THE LOVE"
The closer people are to you, the more they can frustrate, annoy, and drive you crazy—not because you inner circle is particularly crazy, but because you're more sensitive to them than to others. This reality is particularly true for your nuclear family (spouse and children) and your family of origin (mom, dad, and siblings). Family members have the ability to push buttons like no others. They also, however, often love you like no others.
Don't get lost in the minor annoyances, little personality quirks and human imperfections of your loved ones. Yes, these irritants can seem larger than life at moments, however that's more about you than it is about them. Stay focused on the love, the history and the undying support that family can give—even when imperfectly given..If you're blessed with a family who loves you and would be there for you in an instant in the darkest of times—thank them, appreciate them, and love them.
Challenge: If you have a family who loves and supports you, then count your blessings and look past their imperfections just as they have to look past yours.
By Lisa Merlo-Booth
Wendy Allen, Ph.D, MFT is an expert in couples and marriage therapy. She has been practicing in Santa Barbara for almost 30 years. She is the only Marriage therapist in the tri-counties using the Real Relational Living model, from which all of these ideas are based upon.